Speak To The Lord

You can't just keep everything inside of you. You have to talk to someone about a manner of things, especially about this matter of your new past/new reality. Use the Lord's presence and power. Talk to Him about all the frustrations and problems you are having. Yes, He has shown you a form of his wrath when you make fun of this process, or try to denigrate this process. The reason the Lord has shown His wrath is because what God has given you is sacred. However, you must never consider yourself a "chosen" person because you must live in humility...humility so strong your humility cancels out any thought God may have elevated you above any other person. Talk to God for prolonged periods.